Stuck a midst unknowing, endless loneliness...

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Diary Entry - 26 September 2009
{~Busy Busy~}

Mock exams are bad. Seriously.

Like, I'm stuck in some either freezing or roasting hall and forced to complete some random papers from the randomest place. Really, who has the mood to answer them?

Which explains my lousy results for the Physics paper because I crapped through it. Ever seen anyone wanting to kill himself during a Biology paper? Yes, that happened too. >_>

My whole life seems like it is like in some ruins. I can't make up anything from my life that is exactly successful. I don't know is it because I want too much and I can't get all that, but I still feel that my life is quite a failure. And I almost typed "my love is quite a failure" because I was listening to Kushami by Tegomass, and the part "Oh Love Love Love Love Love Love Love" came out. Never mind. Either way, the sentence is still correct. :D

Let's see. Less a month to go before we are struck by total fear and despair. I feel like killing myself. Or maybe, just die while I'm asleep. That sounds good. Like then I can be so free just roaming around the underworld. I'm bored. Totally. Gaaaah.

And no Master Hits this week yet. Tell me that someone's going to upload it this week too. I want to listen to the randomest stuff by Massu~ LOL.

Alright, I shall sign off here. Good Day.

posted at 2:32 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Monday, September 21, 2009

臼井儀人先生へ、ご冥福を祈りいたします。

The author of the hit manga and anime Crayon Shinchan, Usui Yoshihito-sensei, has been confirmed to be the male body found at the foot of the Arafune Mountain cliff. He has fallen down during his hiking trip, and the day was estimated to be 11 September this year.

臼井先生、私にとって、クレヨンしんちゃんは自分の人生の中で、ひとつのかけがえのないものだと思います。小さい頃からずっと見ていて、夢中になってしまい、一日中何時間も見続けました。クレヨンしんちゃんは私に笑顔、喜び、そしていっぱいの笑いをくださった作品です。今までもクレヨンしんちゃんのファンでいて、とても光栄です。今思い出せば、クレヨンしんちゃんを見始めたときはまるで昨日のようだった。色々面白さを私に下さって、子供のときから、今少年になっても、クレヨンしんちゃんがとっても大好きです。

とても不幸だが、臼井先生はこんなに早く天国へ戻りましたが、クレヨンしんちゃんはいつでも、子供たち、そして皆さんの心に生き続けます。皆さんに笑いをくれる何よりも面白くて、かけがえのない漫画だと思います。この期間、ずっとクレヨンしんちゃんに通して皆さんに幸せを下さっていて、本当にどうもありがとうございました。これからも、天国でずっと世界中の子供たちを見守っていてください。

ご冥福を心から祈りいたします。本当にどうもありがとうございました。

posted at 1:59 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Diary Entry - 18 September 2009
{~Prologue to Disaster~}

Once more. Mock exams starting next week. Which implies more lunch in school or outside. And loads of writing to do. Crap.

Got back my Japanese results yesterday. Not very excellent, 86.5. I'm hoping to get another mark or at least a fraction of a mark because one question seriously has a problem. It was in the listening. Don't remind me, I just hope I get the mark.

And Mrs Ang as agreed to moderate the results for the whole level's combined humanities such that we all get one grade up. So now, I get an A2 for Combined Humanities for Prelims 2, and an average of 70 marks, another A2 for Prelims average. My Higher Chinese got an A1, and A2 for average. Hope to get an A2 for English too, quite possible because the Composition results were quite high this time round.

Either way, I'm having an L1R5 of 7 for the Prelim 2, and 8 for average. Quite some improvement I would say, I shall work hard. Of course, 6 is my goal and I'm just one grade away. If 'O' Levels are like Prelim 2, then I think it'll be awesome. >_>

Waiting for Master Hits recording to be uploaded tomorrow. And we're dining out tomorrow because it was Dad's birthday on the 16th. Food.

Alright now, it's almost 3 and the weather was great. I can sleep well now. Good Day!

posted at 2:37 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Diary Entry - 16 September 2009
{~Back with Results & More~}

Been away for a week or so. Not really away. Just had not been blogging because there was nothing to write about.

Let's review my Prelims 2 results then. Well, like how the trend always goes, the results I receive on the first day usually are better than those I get on the second day.

English Language: 31/50 (Paper 2) [Well, it seems bad, but apparently it's actually quite good. I was one of the 3 who passed Comprehension. >_>]
Higher Chinese: 160/200 [The first time I actually got an A1 for Upper Secondary Higher Chinese. 80% on top of that. First time I got a 60 plus for my Composition, and 77/90 for Paper 1.]
Elementary Mathematics: I forgot, but it's something 80 plus. Not very good because there are many better.
Additional Mathematics: 73/100 [Yes, the killer paper 1 and random paper 2. Didn't manage to pull it up to an A1.]
Biology: 86/100 [Not bad I suppose.]
Chemistry: 85/100 [Topped, somehow.]
Physics: 84/100 [Not well done. There is a 90.]
Combined Humanities: 66/100 [A B3, somehow.]
-Social Studies: 31/50 [Apparently it's like top 6 or something.]
-E.Geography: 35/50 [Sad]

Only left with my Japanese results. I guess we should get them back tomorrow. I hope I top this year. Please allow me to. And let my results pull up my percentage too.

Well, and the something "more" mentioned in the title...

Tada! Mock Exams timetable starting from next week all the way. This is goodness crappy holy shit. It looked like a periodic table with the boxes and crammed words. It's almost up till 5pm every single day. *smacks head*

I shall try my best.

Moving on to less stressful topics, which are well, non-existent.

Managed to get NEWS' concert videos, and I watched a few already. Well, I'm not that free to complete everything, but oh well, I shall enjoy.

I'm bored and feeling shitty. I shall sign off now. Good Day.

posted at 9:42 PM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Diary Entry - 9 September 2009
{~Kyuu Kyuu Kyuu~}

It's 090909~ And somehow this day doesn't look very exciting although it occurs only once in a century, and it's way past 12am already. >_> So strictly speaking, it's already 100909. Never mind.

Anyways, what am I up to these two days? Listening excessively to 増田貴久のMaster Hits~ Well, it's the radio show hosted by Massu from Tegomass. I don't know if I should say that it's quite interesting, because many radio shows are interesting as well, but maybe it's because of Massu hosting it. He replies to fan-mails sent to the programme and sometimes also accept brain quizzes and tries to answer them. Of course, playing of Tegomass, NEWS and other Johnny's songs. It's quite short, spanning only 30 minutes every week, but it's fun to listen to. Yes, I was listening to the recorded ones on YouTube.

For two weeks, Tegoshi came to host with Massu as promotion of their single, Tanabata Matsuri and album, Tegomass no Uta~ And yes, on their album jacket, Tegoshi is making the mouth for U, and Massu the shape of Ta. Looks very cute. XD

Anyways, listening to a few Tegomass songs like Chicken Boy, Hanamuke and Moshimo Boku ga Pochi Dattara. Funny songs. :D

Okay, back to my own life. Nothing much happened today. Just wasted like two hours going to a LAN shop to play DotA. Like, why don't we play it at home. Seriously.

Well, came home, rested.

Then I suddenly had an urge to play Left4Dead for a while. Seriously, I have never tried the game before. But well, it wasn't the scary thing, it's just shocking when they jump out from nowhere. Imagine a Boomer squeezing into a small hole in the sewer... Oh and I died when I came out of the manhole. That Zoey woman was telling me to find a manhole. So I found it, climbed out, and got incapacitated by a Tank immediately. The Tank then proceeded to block the manhole cover and continued to jump on me continuously. Then I died. >_>

But I startled two Witches for the fun of it. Like, one was sitting beside some pipes, and there was this stationary machine gun emplacement thing there for me to us, and it could hit the Witch. So, well, just for the fun of it, I fired at her with all my might. She came charging at me, and died before she could touch anyone of us. :D

The next one was in the sewer, and I shot her with my PISTOL. Of course I died, but it was fun. :D Witches are so fun to meddle with. I saw this video on YouTube with this house filled with 100 Witches. Then they threw a Molotov and a Pipe Bomb in. Funny~

Okay, then I did nothing. Seriously. Should be going out tomorrow, shall refer to my parents.

Yes, I woke up at 7am this morning to listen to some radio before sleeping again at 8am. Cool or what? >_> I'm stupid. But never mind. :D

Alright now, I shall sign off here. Enjoy the last few days of freedom. Good Day.

posted at 2:13 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Diary Entry - 7 September 2009
{~Distances~}

The word distance is another simple yet deep word. It can be very superficial, yet very profound.

From the perspective of a physicist, it is just a quantity for movement. A product of speed and time.

Well, I've been watching two long distances being conquered today. First was the Tsugaru Kaikyou Relay (Tsugaru Straits, the waters separating Hokkaido from Japan's Honshu.), where celebrities, professional athletes and a blind girl participated in a swimming relay to swim from Aomori to Hokkaido. It was 42km long, and the sea was very tough to swim in. They failed to conquer the distance last year, so they sought revenge this year on the 24 Hour TV programme. 24 Hour TV is a special TV programme that airs annually, or maybe not every year, in August. The show runs live for 24 hours straight, and they are hosted by a group of celebrities (recently they all come from Johnny's Entertainment). In the show itself, there are often marathons challenging people's limits. This swim was incredible because it has shown us the determination and teamwork of the swimmers, and the will of a blind girl. Miyagawa Daisuke from ItteQ also participated in the swim to lend help to the blind girl who failed last year.

Another distance was the 126.585km marathon ran by Imoto Ayako. Well, I watched all the cut out clips aired during the 24 Hour TV today. It was amazing. She persevered all the while and finally reached her goal, despite being a bit late. Her dream also came true as Tegoshi run forward to give her a tight hug. Her will and determination was amazing. She was referred to in the programme as the Heroine of Heisei.

During her run too, they sang ZARD's medley, and during her last 3km, they sang Makenaide, a song which they said Imoto likes a lot. They also repeated the two choruses many many times to drag the show, or something. It was great to see that ZARD is still remembered by everyone. And her songs continue to touch people's hearts, bridging the distance between life and death.

Another distance, one which is indeed hard to conquer, is the distance between people. Not the literal meaning, because globalization has helped a lot in shortening distances between people in different countries. But rather, social distances and emotional distances, if I put it that way. Two people may be right beside each another, but their hearts can be miles apart, and the distance cannot be covered easily just by mere power. This distance can hurt because it isolates one's heart from others, and to be able to be beside someone and not be able to communicate or even acknowledge each others' presence is a very painful thing. This distance is the most abstract and most excruciating.

I have no idea, all these just popped out of my head all of a sudden. Distances are just amazing. How they can take on many forms and do different things to different people.

Anyway, I've seriously come to realize that Massu's smile is really very bright. XD

No idea why, but when he smiles, it sort of makes you lighten up too, like what Tegoshi said about Massu's smile in a TV programme before. And Massu's expressions are often very cute and adorable, like in Summer Time and other occasions. During 24 Hour TV, he was trying to direct the camera to Tegoshi and Becky, and he called them "Tegoshi-kun, Becky-kun!". "Becky-kun" is not for a girl like Becky, so everyone laughed and his embarrassed face looked so funny. Of course, the name "Massu" sounds very cute too. Sounds like a rodent or something. XD

Anyways, ending this long long post with a video before I go to sleep. Another video from Tegomass, this is a coupling song for their 3rd single, Ai Ai Gasa. The name is Moshimo Boku ga Pochi Dattara, If I Were a Dog. Look at Massu's expressions at times because he makes such funny and cute expressions. *jealous of others' faces*

Alright, enjoy the video. The ending part is when they discuss that song title, and look at his face when he went "Pochi?!" and after that. :D

It's a little large, but oh well, to see better. :D Good Day!

posted at 2:25 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Monday, September 7, 2009

Diary Entry - 6 September 2009
{~世界の果てまでイッテQ~}

Right, that's what I've been quite crazy over recently. Because it is a wonderful TV variety show that touches our hearts deeply.

Main host is Uchimura Teruyoshi, other regulars include Tegoshi Yuuya from NEWS/Tegomasu, Becky, Miyagawa Daisuke, Imoto Ayako, Othello, Mori San Jyuu.

It's a TV show whereby viewers send in questions about places all around the world and these celebrities visit these places to solve the mysteries, often facing a lot of difficulties along their way.

One long-running series is the one about "What is the most exciting festival in the world?" question, and Miyagawa is the main character leading this section, visiting around one festival every month and participating, often leaving records worldwide. He alone has won second in the famous Britain Cheese-Rolling Festival and was the champion of the Wooden Car Festival in Thailand. Until now, there are 3 times where Uchimura and Tegoshi joins Miyagawa to participate in group festivals, and they won the third one held in USA where they had to run past logs. It was very touching to see Uchimura trying so hard and encountering a miracle until the very last minute.

Imoto Ayako, also the runner for the 24 Hour TV marathon, is named the Rare Beasts Hunter, and goes off to look for rare animals all over the world. She has raced with cheetahs and Komodo dragons, tested the biting strength of a lion and what not. She amazes me with her determination to complete the 126.585km marathon during the 24 Hour TV, and as promised, Tegoshi gave her a nice long hug right after she passed the finishing line. As long as we are determined, we will get what we want. She also scaled an almost 6000m mountain in Africa, also impressing me a lot.

Other activities include solving questions such as "Can human fly with an umbrella?" or "How her mystery circles made?". The topics are very interesting and hilarious at times.

I've been watching a lot of the festivals these few days and I must say that I'm deeply impressed by the celebrities' willingness to present the excitement to the crowd. It is hard being a celebrity indeed.

Oh well, enough of advertisements. Let's see, what's there to talk about. Like, there's nothing.

I think I dream a lot these few days because exams are over. I think I dreamt of something this morning, but I'm not very sure. LOL. Never mind, leave it.

Spent another pointless day slacking around. It's 3am again. How time flies. I should sleep earlier but no, I can't because my life is inverted.

From Imoto, I've also remembered that it is good to have a dream and ambition. Well, not exactly about occupation, but something like "I want to become a wonderful person like that" or "By the age of XX, I want to be able to do this!". Having goals like that make life easier and chases off fear at times.

Well, I hope I can burn all the way till 'O' Levels end. Let's work hard!

Good Day~

posted at 2:44 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Diary Entry - 5 September 2009
{~試験終了！~}

ああ、やっと終わりました。中学生活の最後の校内試験が。よかった。

'O'レベルまで七週間ぐらいある。全然やる気ないな．．．今は結構困っております。どうして謙譲語使ってるも知らない。それがこの僕です。

まあ、今日は寝ました。長い時間。午前中に起きて、午後三時にまた寝ちゃった。そして6時に起き、マージャンしました。今は祖母の家におります。そうそう、その三十二階にあるマンション。でも今日は部屋の中にインターネット使ってます。ベランダにいると、インターネットが切れてしまう。

何のしよっかな？ゲーム？ビデオ？わかんない。でも、今週は楽しく過ごしましょう！

And I think that it'll be too sad if I kept posting in Japanese. I don't know why, just had the urge to post in Japanese these few days. Well, let's see, slept a lot today. Woke up at 12 noon, napped at 3pm until 6pm. At my Grandma's house right now, not on the balcony, but in the bedroom because the internet signal totally sucks on the balcony. XD

Exams are over~ Prelims, at least. Few more weeks until the dreaded O's. Let's see how I can fare. I'm troubled right now because I don't know what to do. Well, things will work out.

And I dreamt again this morning. Something stupid and meaningless. Got woken up by my Grandma's phone call though. XD Funny.

Alright, I shall get something to do. Good Day~

posted at 8:26 PM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Friday, September 4, 2009

Diary Entry - 3 September 2009
{~試験終了：あと一日！~}

さあ！今日も試験！

なんか、つまらなかったね。少し寝坊しちゃって、急いで学校に向かってから、一時間だけの試験を受けた。それで、家に帰って、寝ました~

なんか、三時間も寝たけど、まだちょっと眠かった。日本語の試験だった。本当に五年シリーズとはずっと違う問題がいろいろ出て、困った．．．

マジで、日本語のSSのようだったよ、問題はやったことと全然違って、普通なら半時間以内でできる問題は、ギリギリ４５分間で終わったんだ。

聴解も普通と同じように早かった。話すスピードが。そして問題と問題の間は長くて、マジ眠らせたんだ。

まあ、日本語の試験も終わったし、後は成績だけね。今年はなんか一番になれたらいいな。

そしてね、昨日の作文さ、僕が｢私が尊敬している人」について書きました。その人はもちろん、ZARDの坂井泉さんです。また泉水さんに助けていただきました。去年の中国語の作文でも彼女について書いて、かなりいい成績が取れました。今回もお願いいたします。

さあ、明日はバイオロジと物理のPaper 1だ。全然勉強してない。まあ、なんとかなるだろう。

それじゃ、いい曲を聞いて、寝るつもりなので、またね！Good Day!

posted at 12:08 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．

Thursday, September 3, 2009

テゴマス－片想いの小さな恋
Tegomass - Kataomoi no Chiisana Koi

I have posted this video before, but the lyrics are really very well written. I'm in love with the lyrics actually. It speaks about the crush of this guy on a girl, and how he wants to end this crush but yet cannot bear to end it, and that he does not dare to confess because it may cause tension between them. It's really well written because it uses very simple words to express the feelings of a crush very well. Enjoy.

眠れないほど好きです叶わない小さな恋
君なんです君のことです布団の中もぐりこんだけど
まぶしいその横顔全然届かないよ
忘れなきゃ忘れられない心の中溢れる

この片想いに終わりがあるのなら教えてよ
この片想いを気づいて欲しい
後戻りできない恋なんです

「どうしたの元気ないね?」覗いたしんぱい顔
君なんです君のせいです机の中しまいこんだけど
優しいその言葉にうつむくほてった顔
伝えたい伝えられない心の中揺れてる

この片想いに終わりがないのならそれでもいい
この片想いをまもって欲しい
まだ何も出来ない僕なんです

告白なんかしたら笑顔さえ見れなくなるから
ここから見つめるだけでかまわないよ

この片想いに終わりがないのならそれでもいい
この片想いをまもって欲しい
まだ何も出来ない
この片想いに終わりがあるのなら教えてよ
この片想いを気づいて欲しい
後戻りできない恋なんです

English Translation:
I love you so much I can't sleep. This little love that cannot be fulfilled.
It's you, it is you. I snuggled in my blanket, but...
That gleaming side profile of your face, I can't reach it at all.
I must forget, I can't forget, it overflows in my heart.

If there is an end to this crush, please tell me.
Please notice this crush.
A love that knows no return.

"What happened? You look tired." Your worrying face looked at me.
It's you, it's your fault, I buried myself on the table, but...
Through your kind words, my blushing face, looking at the ground.
I want to tell you, I can't tell you, it sways in my heart.

If there is no end to this crush, then just let it be.
Please protect this crush.
I who still can't do anything.

If I confessed, I won't be able to see your smile anymore.
I don't mind even if I looked at you from here.

If there is no end to this crush, then just let it be.
Please protect this crush.
I still can't do anything.

If there is an end to this crush, please tell me.
Please notice this crush.
A love that knows no return.

素敵だった？本当に片想いの感じを表せたので、とても意味の深い歌詞だと思います。

それじゃ、お楽しみに。

Good Day~

posted at 12:14 AM

Diary Entry - 2 September 2009
{~もう九月か．．．~}

時が経つのが早いよね。アッという間に九月になりました。

今日はなんと、長い一日だったね．．．物理のPaper 2と高級数学のPaper 2、そして午後には日本語の文法と作文~！！！疲れた~

でもね、今はもう12時になっちゃったけれど、まだ眠っていない。どうしてかな~

最近、なんだかまた落ちたようだ。そう、あんなことに。全然要らないことなのに、何でいつも無理やりくっついてくるのかな．．．

月曜、また夢見た。あんな切ない夢を。マジでむかつく。そして今日もそう、横に歩いてたけど、視線が全然ぶつかってなくて、ただ黙って歩いてただけね。むかつく~

もう忘れようよ。こんな思いは要らない。

明日は試験~化学Paper 1と日本語の読解と聴解。簡単そうだが、勉強しなくちゃ。

それじゃ、次のポストに歌詞を更新するので、読んでね。

またいつか、日本語で。Good Day~

posted at 12:04 AM

今すぐ君に逢いたい．．．